Starting countdown....

I don't have anything major to talk about today.
I am flying tomorrow to Budapest, as I mentioned on an earlier post.

I have a rush of terror in my body when I remember that I will be flying tomorrow...
the type of thoughts running in my head are something like:..

"WHY AM I DOING THIS? WHY DO I CONSTANTLY PUT MYSELF IN DANGER AND FLY SOMEWHERE? WHY CANT I JUST STAY HOME? WHAT AM I DOING TO MYSELF?"..

When I hear those voices (twilight zone....)...I just block them right then and there and proceed with the arrangements and everything else.

As I said, I will "set my thoughts free"..tomorrow, in the taxi, on my way to the airport..

BTW, I am AS anxious about the drive to the airport as I am about the flight...I don't trust the driver, I like to be the one driving, I don't like it when I am in the passenger's seat, in life in general, in the car...let alone, in the plane..

I have NO DOUBT that if I would sit the whole flight in the cock pit, I would be PERFECTLY fine...THis is why I KNOW it's a control issue with me.

As a flight attendant, I visited the cock pit quite often and it didn't feel special in any way...Today? I will PAY to get in there and sit there the whole flight...

I will try to share the flight with you as much as I can, taking my lap top with me (why isn't there an internet connection in planes??? I might be less anxious if I could hook up with people on the IM during a flight).

See you up there!!

Karen